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Sunday, January 15, 2006
In Which Dorian Is Annoyed With Entertainment Culture
"If you're watching the show because you're waiting for the big answers to come, you have to understand that by the nature of what it is -- it's not a movie, it's not a series of movies, it's not a trilogy, it's not a miniseries -- it's going to be on the air for as long as ABC wants to keep it on the air.
"How can you ever possibly think that 'Lost' will end in a satisfying way?"
Way to sell your show guys. "There's no possible way it's going to end in a way that doesn't insult your intelligence or make sense in light of what has gone before, so just deal with it." At least now I know who is probably to blame for all the really, really dumb stuff on the show that makes it frustrating to watch: Lindelof.
So, instead of following the increasingly successful and profitable way of making dramatic television shows in which there is a finite story with a beginning, middle and end...they've decided to follow the Twin Peaks model and just make stuff up as they go along in order to pad out the show as long as possible.
Yeah, suddenly I'm thinking I'll be doing something else with my Wednesday nights.
Well, that may be a bit harsh, but Burton, as a director, has a notable weakness in the storytelling department. His films are visually interesting, but he's not good at all at telling a story. Further, his style isn't exactly subtle or modest. No, I'm already picturing a big, over-the-top recreation of a particularly squalid 19th century England. The show is a grand guignol in every sense of the word, but all the successful stagings it has had have been very minimal in staging. Burton isn't going to get that. The actors are going to be lost under the sets and special effects.
And Johnny Depp is a very good actor...usually. I can't see him as Sweeney though. And I certainly can't see him singing his way through the role.
And the sad thing is, Burton would have been an inspired choice of director for another Sondheim play, Into the Woods. That's a production that lends itself well to extravagant excess.
Raimi's idea of comedy is too broad to really work with Pratchett's writing. And as a director he's shown an utter inability to get his actors to, well, act.
Come to think of it, even Burton would be a better choice on a project like this.
Naughty America: The world's first sexually themed massively multi-player on-line role-playing game.
Or, rather, The Sims Online with cartoon sex. That they expect you to pay for.
At least they either got Glen Hanson to do the art, or paid someone to make it look a lot like his work.
