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Monday, June 28, 2004
Trailer Reviews
I'm really, really, really just absolutely sick of thinking about comics right now, so I decided to kill my brain cells with on-line movie trailers instead this week-end. Here are my totally unfair and biased reviews, split up into the categories of: Films I'd Pay Full Price to See, Films I'd Pay the Matinee Price to See, and Films I'll Watch on Cable, Maybe, If Nothing Else Is On.
Pay Full Price Alien Vs. Predator: It won't be good. Oh God, it won't be good. But if it's a "dumb fun" movie, the kind of thing where I can just turn my brain off for 90 minutes and enjoy watching things go explodey, I'll be happy.
Cellular: And technology makes a whole new genre of action-movie possible. The cast and the premise is intriguing. And it looks to have put a little more thought into the set-up than your average genre movie.
The Corporation: Looks to be a timely film about how screwed we're all getting by the increasingly small number of multi-national corps which are controlling more and more commerce and media, and how they really feel about us.
Strayed: Techine's films are always worth a look. It's material he's touched on before, but he's good at it.
Suspect Zero: A serial killer targeting serial killers. I suppose the idea had to occur to someone at some point.
Matinee Kinsey: I like Liam Neeson and Laura Linney. The subject matter alone suggests the potential for an at least entertaining film. But the trailer doesn't give me any clue as to the kind of movie it is; drama, biography, comedy, what?
De-Lovely: I don't generally have much interest in bio-pics, but the cast is good and the soundtrack should be amazing. It's interesting to note that while the trailer here hints at Porter's sexuality, it's the full focus of all the television ads I've seen.
Ocean's 12: It's Soderbergh and it's Clooney. But, again, actually giving me some clues about the film other than "all the cast has returned" might have been nice.
Constantine: Uhm...yeah...You never know, it might not competely suck...
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle: This type of comedy is extraordinarily hit or miss with me. Either I'll love it, or I'll want to cause physical injury to everyone involved with it. That being said, some strange part of me is glad to see that the two leads are Asian. Some other part of me suspects that will keep a lot of people from seeing the film.
The Grudge: And the Nu-Horror trend officially is over. I'd still like to see the original, and this still looks intriguing enough for me to check it out...but casting Buffy in a role that might actually require some nuance? Please...
Exorcist: The Beginning: Not quite enough material in the trailer to form a full opinion. They seem to be selling it on: remember how much you liked the first movie, and forget about the second and third. Still, if they manage to pull it off, it's been awhile since we've seen a good movie with Satan as the bad guy.
Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera: Quick-cuts galore. Musicals always seem to be a risky proposistion these days, but Christmas is probably the right time to release something as gloriously gaudy as this.
Cable, Maybe Door in the Floor: When was it decided that "drama" was synonymous with "tedious and self-important?"
Little Black Book: A movie about a nosy, distrustful woman who invades her boyfriends privacy out of her own sense of inadequacy and paranoia. And this is a comedy?
A Series of Unfortunate Events: Never read the books. Never even been tempted to read the books. The books struck me as a shameless attempt to cash in on the Harry Potter phenomen by cranking out hack-work. The film strikes me in much the same way. And the presence of Jim Carrey, hamming it up inappropriately, makes me think that you'll have to pay me to get me to see this dreck.
Vanity Fair: Lord spare me from Reese Whiterspoon movies...
Sleepover: Just watching the trailer made me feel like a dirty old man...
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