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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
User Generated Content and Sexy Christian Archie
I just simply can't decide what to post this week, so I'm leaving it up to all of you. Your options are a discussion of a vintage Phantom Lady story, or a list, with explanations, of what I am not buying this week, comics-wise. Because that Phantom Lady story? Nutty. And everybody does lists of what they are buying.
So, remember the other day, when I mentioned that, ironically, it's the explicitly Christian Archie comics that come the closest to actually discussing, you know...S E X.
Here 'ya go:
Whoa-hoa! A naughty double-intender! Mr. Lodge's misunderstanding of the "it" to which Veronica refers will be humorous.
Steadfastly holding to a preconceived opinion, despite repeated attempts to inform him that he's wrong? Yep, Mr. Lodge is a Republican.
Betty brings us a parable about love and sex: Two things occur to me. One, Reggie is clearly a date-rapist of some kind. And yet, the kids still put up with him. And two, that orange is a dirty, dirty slut. Also, please note, that in all these stories, sex is exclusively something men pressure women into doing. The idea of a woman being a sexual being herself is not permitted in these stories. Given that this is also the story in which Betty makes a plea for loving and standing by your man, even defending him, no matter how badly he takes advantage of you or is in the wrong, that shouldn't be too surprising.
So, the worst thing that happened to Veronica today is that someone tried to sell her pot? Yep, she's a Republican. Man, if she freaks out this badly over people smoking pot in high school, she's going to have an aneurysm when she gets to college. Assuming, of course, that Mr. Lodge doesn't marry her off to a nice Christian boy right after graduation.
Dale Lazarov passed this on to me, so I'm passing it on to all of you.
Right now, I am casting for a colorist for MANLY, a 72-page book that I and the illustrator have to submit to Bruno Gmünder Verlag (a German gay art book publisher) in part by October 1st and complete by January 10th. There is no page rate for the work but the colorist would get 20% of the advance and the royalties for the length of the book's contract (usually, seven years; for the first year's print run of 2500, you'd make $500). This publication is a DONE DEAL -- this is not speculation. They want to publish MANLY. Right now, we need a colorist to meet the deadlines.
The work would be "work for hire" (in other words, you would not share in the copyright) but your 20% over the publication life of the book would remain in place. My first book, STICKY, came out in hardcover last year and I have two more books coming out next year.
I can e-mail applicants a page they can color as a sample as well as two images colored by Amy that you can use as style guides. The illustrator, Amy Colburn, wants a Disney animated-style cel-shading for the project. Whoever does the best job gets the contract.
Applicants must send an e-mail address to Homoludenz@aol.com so I can send them the pages and log them in as an applicant. Applicants would have until next Saturday (August the 4th) to submit their work.
The gender and orientation of the colorist is of absolutely no matter to me; talent is. Applicants must be over 18 and have no conflicting commitments as there are currently 24 inked pages that need coloring right away with 48 inked pages about to come in from the illustrator in the next few months.
Just so you know I am not a looney, here's the Wikipedia page for my first book, STICKY:
IDW finally manges to put out a book I'll buy. I mean, sure, it'll cost about $1 to $2 more than it should, but it's Doctor Who! Of course, I'm not optimistic about it's sales potential. Doctor Who is pretty much a cult show in the U.S. Comic books are a niche market. Comic adaptations of TV properties are even more of a niche market...you see where I'm going with this, right?
Top Shelf to reprint Marshall Law. Now all you little pissants complaining that Grant Morrison "clearly hates super-heroes" can see what a comic created by people who really hate super-heroes looks like.
Marvel announces new mini-series featuring Golden Age characters no one remembers. Another story has this information: "It's about them adjusting to the present, letting go of the past," exploring whether or not the past was all it was cracked up to be and if the future was what it was expected. He said it's also a murder-mystery, and that the Blue Blade gets killed towards the beginning of the book (although he'll still be seen in flashbacks).
So nothing at all like Watchmen then...It's almost like Straczynski is asking people to accuse him of ripping off Alan Moore now.
Matt Wagner to write Madame Xanadu for Vertigo. So DCU characters can appear in Vertigo books, but characters in Vertigo books can't appear in DCU titles. I appreciate the intentions behind keeping the lines separate, but they're straining reader patience at this point with it.
Monster Attack Network by Marc Bernardin, Adam Freeman and Nima Sorat, published by AIT/Planet Lar
Ever wondered who cleans up after those giant monster attacks? Or who is responsible for making sure the city gets evacuated? This is the story of the folks responsible for maintaining the safety of the citizens of the tiny island nation of Lapuatu. It's a decidedly high-concept book, with a beautifully calculated appeal to monster movie fans who don't take themselves too seriously in its premise. It's fast-paced, funny and has a frenetically expressionistic art style that's just enough this side of caricature to get the humor and energy of the story right. It's fantastic fun, escapist entertainment, to be brief.
Not going to Comic-Con. Not particularly interested in Comic-Con. Maybe if it were about two hours closer, about one-third to one-half the size, and actually about comic-books instead of selling games, movies and tv shows to nerds, I'd be interested, but everything I ever hear about it suggests that, nope, the closest thing the comics industry has to a trade expo is not for me.
Tuesday was Lynda Carter's birthday. In honor of that event, here's a Wonder Woman panel that's not the slightest bit ironic, given later developments with the character:
Hippie Jesus wants you to get into his windowless van. "Carburetors, man! That's what life is all about!"
A) What is Liberace doing in that field in the first place? B) What is Liberace doing in a religous comic? C) No, there is no intentional humor in a Spire comic, only unintentional humor.
"Roomer" is one of those polite euphemisms. Like "Boston Marriage." But when you're a talking tiger in a tacky suit, it's catch as catch can, I suppose. (Oh please, like you never worked out that Mr. Tawky Tawny was supposed to be gay before now?)
That's right Billy, werewolves, vampires and ghouls are just stories. Like wizards. Or sextet's of pagan gods with nothing better to do than give super-powers to little orphan boys. Or talking tigers.
Billy runs into a little trouble on the way home, though. I think we've all wanted to kill Billy at one point, so it's hard to hold it against Mr. Tawny. So, he's a tiger...who turns into a tiger? Once again, the question of what exactly Mr. Tawny is supposed to be is muddled.
Of course he's guilty, he's the only talking tiger in the world. No wonder they call him the world's greatest detective. No, wait...
After a young couple is mauled while making out in the park at night, Billy and Mr. Jones decide to set a trap for Mr. Tawny, who has run away in order to evade capture. Okay, hands up who didn't see that coming. Was this your first comic? Was this your first narrative?
If you ever wondered how often Billy gets tied up and gagged, only to have something conveniently rip his gag off at the last second, the answer is "twice per issue." The "unable to say the magic word because he's choking on his own blood" angle is new, though.
Mr. Tawky Tawny just killed a guy with a stick. Mr. Tawky Tawny just killed a guy with a stick!
Superboy, visiting his friends in the Legion, takes time to save someone who has fallen on the magno-train tracks. Typically, his motives aren't exactly pure...
Yes, that is normal day wear in the 30th Century.
"Several passengers were taken to Science Hospitals for various minor injuries after Superboy forced a train into making a sudden stop today..."
Okay, so...Superboy has met a girl...he's interested in the girl...the girl is interested in him...
Something horrible is going to happen, isn't it?
Yes, Superboy, you've been flirting with your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grand-daugther! I'm not sure if that's "more creepy" or "less creepy" than hitting on your under-age cousin.
I count six books with the word Countdown in their title and another three explicitly identified as tie-ins. So DC learned the wrong lesson from Civil War... It's "better stories/fewer tie-ins" guys. When you release a flood of tie-ins, the good stories get lost and all the public sees is the cash-grab attempt.
For some reason, the notion of Starfire's adventures hanging out with Buddy Baker's kids amuses me greatly.
I still want to know who felt that the world needed a Lord Havok and the Extremeists mini-series. I just know that some horribly significant "event" will take place in the book, in order to justify its existence, because there aren't enough people on message boards and LiveJournal who insist DC bring back everything connected to the Giffen-era league to make this profitable.
Bill Morrison writing Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew, terrible puns and all? Yes please.
You would think that Batman and the Outsiders would have enough retro-homage points in its favor to get me to at least look at it, but with Koi Turnbull on art I'm fairly indifferent to it, as I associate him pretty strongly with Michael Turner's Aspen studio, and I simply do not care for that style of art.
Green Arrow/Black Canary #1's solicitation refers to a "shocking event" at the wedding, and features Black Canary teamed up with Conor Hawke on the cover. So, it's either a fake-out or DC may have spoiled something.
Death of the New Gods: Okay, I'm the guy who actually kind of liked Jim Starlin's take on the characters. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you're going to do a new New Gods series, I'd rather see someone like Grant Morrison take it and go gonzo, or someone like Busiek take it and do a good polish, but I'm not going to sulk about either the presence of Starlin or the word "Death" in the title.
I'm actually looking forward to Greg Rucka's Crime Bible as well. Again, I seem to be one of the few who actually likes She-Question.
Metamorphoa Year One: I don't generally mind Dan Jurgens, but the notion of him doing a new origin for a goofy Kanigher character like Metamorpho is causing me to have flash-backs to that Metal Men book he did. That's not a good thing.
Gotham Underground features just about every Gotham-based character, or so it promises, including possibly the first significant post-52 appearance of the much reviled by fanboys, which is strange given she's a red-headed Jewish lesbian in leather, Batwoman. I'm a sucker for "Gotham" stories, apparently...I'll probably check this out.
Booster Gold #3: I've seen less homoerotic longing on a man's face in actual gay porn. Yes, I'm talking about Booster. Come on, I can't be the only one who sees it!
DC Infinite Halloween Special: DC villains telling horror stories about the heroes. Neat idea. And no pun to ruin by skittish middle-managers this time, either.
Blue Beetle #20 ties in to the Sinestro Corps storyline, and a perfectly good "torn uniform" cover is wasted on an underage character...
Batman #670 and Robin Annual #7 are preludes to the "Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul" storyline. Who wants to bet that Liam Neeson is making a return appearance in the next Batman movie?
Aquaman is apparently cancelled with issue #57. Which disappoints me, as I was really enjoying Tad Williams' run on the book. It's a nice balance between the fantasy tone Busiek relaunched the book with and traditional super-heroics. Now I'm just wondering if my pet theory about who the new Arthur Curry really is will turn out to be right or not...
I really like the cover to Birds of Prey #111 for no good reason:
Brave and the Bold #7 is a team-up with Wonder Woman and Power Girl...I'm going to make a bet with Mike about this book. I'm fairly certain I'm going to be right about..."reaction"...to this issue.
Countdown Special: The Flash 80 Page Giant: read the adventures of the Flash's Rogues from before they were turned into child-murderers and rendered pretty much unusable.
Justice League of America #14: Now with John Stewart! The faces make me giggle, though. Yes, all of them.
Justice Society of America #10. More Kingdom Come nonsense. Why doesn't DC ever want to revisit a good comic?
I've noticed people making much of the supposed "spoiler" on the cover to Checkmate #19. Really, it screams "fake out" to me.
Metal Men #3 features the Death-Metal Men. Is it too soon to declare this my favorite comic?
This cover makes me laugh. I can just hear Detective Chip berating Enchantress for missing the chalk outline.
Dammit, Wonder Girl, get out of the way! You're blocking the man-candy!
Gail Simone starts her run on Wonder Woman with the thirteenth issue. I'm looking forward to it, I know lots of people are looking forward to it, but I'm starting to get a "this will be the cure to cancer and world hunger" vibe off of some of the people looking forward to it. Yeah, it'll be good, but let's temper our expectations a little, okay?
The cover for the hard-cover collection of the first The Brave and the Bold story-line features a new illustration. I can't even remember the last time I saw a new illustration on a collected edition cover...
I'm fairly indifferent to a Showcase Presents volume for the Suicide Squad, but the Secret Society of Super-Villains? One of those books I simply can never fill a run of? Yeah, I'm there.
I'm pretty sure that's what happened to the Black Dahlia...
Christos Gage and Darick Robertson on Authority? Yes, please.
Let's see...Trick 'R Treat...a four issue, weekly mini-series by Manhunter's Marc Andreyko...okay, interested..."based on the major motion picture"...oh dear. I simply do not trust my chances of finding a quality horror film in the current market-place.
Vinyl Underground is billed as a cross between Invisibles and CSI. Those...don't sound like complimentary influences. The cognitive dissonance created by trying to wrap my head around that has me curious.
Testament's third collection is due out...trust me, this is a good series. Also, The Exterminators. You should be reading those books.
An Ambush Bug Mini-Mate? To go with my Wildcat, Power Girl and Wonder Woman? Neat! Oh, it comes with Lobo? Never mind...
DC Beefcake of the Month
Oh, like I could resist Hawkman on Black Adam #3 Still, it's not so great...DC has been slacking on the beefcake lately...and editing Citizen Steel's crotch doesn't help...
Marvel is launching two minis featuring characters created by Steve Gerber, Omega the Unknown and Howard the Duck. Steve Gerber isn't involved in either title. This tells me that someone at Marvel has fundamentally misunderstood the appeal of those characters.
Another new Marvel Zombies book begins, as Marvel is bound and determined to milk that particular cash cow until you're all damn good and sick of zombies.
New Avengers #35 features a Venom-possessed Wolverine on the cover. Wow...just when you think Marvel couldn't do anything more to make me dislike Wolverine, they find a way...
Okay, so New Warriors #s 1 and 2...pretty good. Surprisingly good, given how little interest I've had in the post-Civil War Marvel Universe. And now, the solicitation for #5 teases us with a "we're going to kill off our viewpoint character" cover. It's a bit too obvious...I doubt it will really happen, they're being so obvious...but still, way to undo the goodwill I was starting to feel towards your properties, there.
Why are all the female characters in The Order showing off their belly-buttons, anyway? Will that be addressed in the first issue?
X-Men: Die by the Sword looks to be an Exiles/New Excalibur cross-over. Man, if I were, say, eight, that might excite me.
The last Foolkiller mini-series was quite good. Given what the rest of Marvel was publishing at the time, it was pretty surprising that it was so good, as well. I seem to recall from earlier interviews with the creators that the impression I had of this new Foolkiller series was that it was going to be ultra-violent and focused on "ironic" punishments, in the vein of films like Saw. I think I can skip it. It's going to be a real hard sell to get me to look at it.
Wolverine: Evolution not only gets a hard-cover collection (and I'm always surprised by what Marvel thinks warrants a hard-cover collection), but a black-and-white variant edition as well. Okay, yeah...that's almost enough to make me never want to buy another comic with Wolverine in it ever again, for fear that it might encourage more things like that.
Marvel Beefcake for October
Really, Sub-Mariner? Is that the best Marvel can do?
Action Comics #851, by Geoff Johns, Richard Donner and Adam Kubert, published by DC
For a long-delayed continuation of a story-line, there really isn't much in the way of forward plot momentum here. We get a cameo by Mon-El, a surprise villain team-up in the conclusion, and very brief check-ups on various cast members. But the bulk of the issue is devoted to Superman in the Phantom Zone, fighting enemies there, and seeing lots of, well, formless gray shapes. The real point of the book, though, isn't to advance the plot, though a tiny bit of exposition takes place, and there is an explanation as to how a child could be born in the Phantom Zone. No, the point of the book is to show off the "new and improved" Phantom Zone, updated for the 21st century, but strangely reminiscent of the design aesthetics of the 1970s, in eye-straining 3D. It's pretty much style over substance, to be blunt. And it's another reason why I'm enjoying Kurt Busiek's Superman a lot more than this title.
All Flash #1, by Mark Waid and various, published by DC
So, DC broke the Flash. To put that statement into context, the last time DC broke a character so badly, it was Hawkman, in a book called Zero Hour. If we accept as true DC's assertion that the Bart Allen Flash series was a deliberate exercise in planned obsolescence, it's hard not to read this as simultaneously a "eff you" to the people who did enjoy that series, and a mea culpa to those who absolutely had to have Wally West back. It's not quite Flash: Rebirth, but the attempt seems to have been made. Of course, what many saw as the problem with the Bart Allen Flash was that the character's evolution was too much and too sudden. He went from an essentially optimistic teen hero character to an angsty and insecure adult. In many ways, it was reminiscent of the changes to Wally West's character when his title first launched. And what of Wally West now? He's gone from a former side-kick grown into his predecessor's role to...a middle-aged father of pre-adolescent twins, who, oh yeah, are also super-heroes, with extra bonus angst over the death of a relative and a new dark and grim and gritty and grim and dark and grim no-nonsense attitude towards dealing with criminals. With ironic torture.
Black Diamond #2, by Larry Young and Jon Proctor, published by AIT/Planet Lar
The second issue features lots of snappy dialogue and a big jump in exposition, as more characters come into play and the various factions at play get fleshed out. It's very good building on the world and filling in of back-story, but now I'm really eager to see some car chase action smash-em-ups in the book. For the back-up this time, we have a surprisingly sincere story from Ken Lowery, revealing that there's more to the Black Diamond than lawless gangs.
Elephantmen: The Pilot by various, published by Image
This is a cute little collection of alternative interpretations of Hip Flask and his world through pin-ups and "fan comics", presented as web-comics within the world of of Elephantmen. The material is of varying quality, though the intentions are good and appreciated. The stand-out of the book is a Hip Flask as Spirit pastiche by Busiek and Immonen.
The Programme #1, by Peter Milligan and C.P. Smith, published by DC/Wildstorm
Milligan's latest is an interesting science-fiction tale with "super-human" overtones that draws a connection between the competition for Nazi scientists between Russia and America post-World War Two and contemporary and Cold War-era conflicts in the Middle East. It's actually pulled off quite well; there's some meat to the premise and an intriguing cast of characters who are skillfully introduced through subtle characterization. Which is a bit of a problem, as the build up is a little too slow. There's simply not enough explanation of what is going on to justify a reader's interest. In a collected form, the book feels like it will read quite nicely, but as a monthly series, with information doled out slowly, there's not enough here in the premiere to get worked up about. Smith's artwork is very good. He has a style which suggests photo-realism, while still making effective use of more expressionistic techniques. It grounds the visual look of the series, gives it a "realistic" edge, which does a good job towards selling the concept of the book.
Also of note, in the preview for the new DC solicitations, was this little...gem? COUNTDOWN PRESENTS: LORD HAVOK AND THE EXTREMISTS #1 Written by Frank Tieri Art and cover by Liam Sharpe Don’t miss this special 6-part COUNTDOWN miniseries featuring the most powerful beings on Earth-8 — Lord Havok and his Extremists — written by Frank Tieri (GOTHAM UNDERGROUND) and illustrated by Liam Sharp (TESTAMENT)! Lord Havok! Dr. Diehard! Tracer! Gorgon! Dreamslayer! Carny! Meet these dangerous individuals and learn why they are so integral to COUNTDOWN and the fate of the Multiverse! Guest-starring Monarch, the Monitors, Donna Troy, Jason Todd and Kyle Rayner! On sale October 31 • 1 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
Okay, an Extremists mini-series? I blame all of you with paranoid fantasies about Dan Didio trying to "destroy" the Giffen-era Justice League for this. This is DC's answer to your complaints, you realize.
So, it's a typical day at Station Whiz, with Billy and his boss sitting around watching television instead of, you know, working...
"So, instead of reporting facts, I'll just be reporting any nonsense I make up? So it'll be like that summer I worked for Fox News?" "Exactly Billy!"
What follows is a montage of Captain Marvel staying in various haunted locales in search of inspiration for his stories. So it's kind of like one of those "Ghost Hunters" type shows, only without easily spooked idiots running around in the dark.
Well, Billy is a total disaster as a writer of ghost stories, so eventually Station Whiz has no choice but to, er, try to retain the good employee they made no attempt to keep in the first place...
So the station manager and Captain Marvel show up at I.J. Scarum's house, and force the butler to allow them to spend the night so that they can meet up with Mr. Scarum and persuade him to come back to work. Because intimidation, assault and trespassing aren't crimes if you're a big shot radio television station owner, apparently. Ah, but do the fates have a cruel twist in store for our heroes?
What follows is the most anti-climatic villain reveal ever:
Did Captain Marvel just resolve a conflict by bribing a ghost? Man, I love comics...
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